Senator Miria Defensor-Santiago delivered a speech on the cybercrime law in a forum organized by the student group Ley La Salle (1st Business Law Conference) at De La Salle University. She began by delivering her trademark punchlines which became viral like her other jokes.
Here are some of her jokes:
"Kung mangholdap ang mga sosyal, ang sinasabi: holdap here, make bigay all your thingy (A sophisticated thief would say: This is hold-up, give all your thingy). Don’t make galaw or I’ll make tusok-tusok you (Don’t move or I’ll stab you)."
Santiago also taught the students simple business terms like the following:
"Kapag may nakita kang gwapo, maganda sa isang party, kapag nilapitan mo siya at sinabi mong mayaman ako, pakasalan mo ako, ang tawag doon ay direct marketing (When you saw a handsome, a beautiful person in a party, approach and told him/her: I’m rich, marry me. You call that direct marketing)."
"Kapag pinadala mo ang kaibigan mo para sabihin sa kanya na mayaman ka at gusto mo siyang pakasalan, ang tawag doon ay advertising (When you send your friend to tell him/her that you’re rich and want to marry him/her, that’s what you called advertising)."
"Kapag nakuha mo ang number niya at tinawagan mo sa telepono kinabukasan para sabihing mayaman ka at gusto mo siyang pakasalan ang tawag doon ay tele-marketing (When you get his/her number and called him/her the following day to say that you’re rich and you want to marry him/her, you called that tele-marketing)."
"And finally, pag sinabi ng isang lalaki sa isang babae na mayaman ako, pakasalan mo ako at sinampal siya ng babae, ang tawag doon ay customer’s feedback (And finally, when a guy told a lady that he’s rich, marry me and the girl slapped him, that’s what you called customer’s feedback)."
The senator also has a message for those who love to take “selfie.”
"Kung pangit ka mahilig kang mag-selfie, sabihin mo na lang lahat ng pictures mo ay wacky (If you’re ugly and you like to take selfie, just say all your pictures are wacky)."
"Kapag magse-selfie, siguraduhin mong hindi maputi ang mukha tapos maitim naman ang leeg mo. Dapat din hindi sobrang puti ang katawan tapos maitim naman ang kilikili. Tandan mo tao ka, hindi ka Zebra (If you’ll take a ‘selfie” shot, make sure your face is not white then your neck is dark. Your body should not also so white but your armpit is dark. Remember, you’re human, not a zebra)."
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